The day AF arrived was the most exciting day that I could remember in a long time. I was actually happy to see my period come. It's funny, but for us women who are trying to conceive, AF is a blessing at some times and a curse at other times. This time her visit was a blessing. I called the RE's office, excitement permeating my voice. It rubbed off because the nurse was excited right along with me. I'm smiling, even now, as I think of our conversation. We scheduled my day 2 ultrasound. I knew this would be my time!! I knew that I would get pregnant on the first time. The statistics that said it didn't happen didn't apply to me.
I went in for my day 2 ultrasound and the nurse found 12 antral follicles. There were only 6 in June. I was given Clomid, to be taken days 3 to 7. Day 9, I gave myself a shot of Gonal F. Giving myself a shot was foreign to me and scary. But, I sucked it up because this would help me achieve my dream of conceiving little Jaydon. But, I felt like the biggest fool when I spilled half the shot. I was heartbroken. I knew that I'd ruined my chances of getting pregnant that cycle. The next day, the nurse assured me that I didn't ruin my chances of having a child. Rather on December 30, 2010, my day 12 ultrasound showed that I'd responded quite well to the Clomid and Gonal F. I had two mature follicles and a possible. I gave myself the HCG trigger shot that night. I went in on December 31 and January 1 for easy, back to back IUIs.
Uggggh, the dreaded TWW began. But, I handled it very well for the first seven days. I wasn't too nervous. I tried not to think about it too much. Then over dinner with a friend on day 7dpiui, I felt my first bout of nausea. Could it possibly be? The nervousness hit me full force at this point. I just knew I was pregnant. I'd done it. I was pregnant. In my excitement at the thought of being pregnant, I became a basket case. I was on the internet every day, all day. I questioned everything that was going on with my body. Could I take a really hot shower or will that harm the fetus? Could I eat Balsamic Vinigrette dressing/? How much tuna fish could I really eat? Would it be ok if I warmed up by roast beef sub in the microwave? Then about 10piui my breasts became sore and heavy. OMG!! I was pregnant. Wasn't this a classic symptom of pregnancy? "Thank God," I thought, "I'm pregnant."
Uggggh, the dreaded TWW began. But, I handled it very well for the first seven days. I wasn't too nervous. I tried not to think about it too much. Then over dinner with a friend on day 7dpiui, I felt my first bout of nausea. Could it possibly be? The nervousness hit me full force at this point. I just knew I was pregnant. I'd done it. I was pregnant. In my excitement at the thought of being pregnant, I became a basket case. I was on the internet every day, all day. I questioned everything that was going on with my body. Could I take a really hot shower or will that harm the fetus? Could I eat Balsamic Vinigrette dressing/? How much tuna fish could I really eat? Would it be ok if I warmed up by roast beef sub in the microwave? Then about 10piui my breasts became sore and heavy. OMG!! I was pregnant. Wasn't this a classic symptom of pregnancy? "Thank God," I thought, "I'm pregnant."
Imagine my disappointment and heartache when I received my BFN and AF 14dpiui. I cried and was depressed the entire day. I didn't go into work. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want to answer the phone. I couldn't help it. How could my body fool me like that? BFN, AF be damned!! My dreams had been dashed.
What do I do now? There was nothing I could do but continue with the process. More to follow on how I got back on the horse.
